Facebook and Friends

Logging on to my computer's homepage one day a news headline caught my eye. "Facebook Friendships Flakey" or something just as silly was the eye-catching title.

The article bashed Facebook 'friendships' as shallow, meaningless and lifeless, saying that for the average user with 150 to 200 people on their friends list, a "true relationship worthy of the term friendship" is in reality limited to a half-dozen or so.



Although I agreed I wouldn't be inviting everyone on my friends list to my childrens' weddings, or even a summer BBQ, I took great exception to the ideas that my so-called friendships were shallow, meaningless and lifeless. Some of those on my list are there simply because we shared a summer at camp back in the 80's, or a class in highschool, or some other seemingly trivial experience. Whatever the connection, a connection it is. And while we may not want to have regular dinner dates to keep abreast of each other's lives, facebook allows us to keep in touch and updated without being overly involved. Ok, maybe that is shallow and meaningless. But it answers the centuries old questions of "I wonder whatever happened to..."



But there is a whole other side to Facebook that I felt the author was missing. I have reconnected with old friends that I haven't seen in donkey's years. And it's a neutral zone too. One friendship that was revived was one that was left on less than ideal terms. Given the 3 provinces between us, popping in to say hi wasn't an option, and had either one of us chosen that route, I don't know how well it would have been received. Facebook offered a great opportunity. A message could be typed, thought over, read and re-read, edited, mulled over, and slept on before finally being sent. If only we put half that much thought into something before saying it! Then the reader has all the time they nead to read the message, re-read, digest it, experience whatever emotion comes with it and so on...all without immediately reacting to the other person! They can take all the time they need to craft an appropriate response, and so on down the line. Granted this is not how things always go, we are human, and generally hot-headed. I am blessed in that this is how it was handled between my friend and I.



It was not even a year ago that this friendship was rekindled. We have talked on the phone a couple of times (for hours each time) and emailed several times. We leave messages on each others' Facebooks every now and then. Is this friendship shallow and meaningless? Goodness no. Do friends have to get together every Tuesday to sip Cappucinos and spend an hour on the phone every day to make it count? I hope not, because if they do, I haven't got a friend in the world.



As for Facebook, some people hate it. Some people love it. It's a social netwooking tool. A computer program. A royal waste of time. I love it. I keep in touch with my friends through Facebook, both the strap-on-your-armour-I'll-fight-your-demons-with-you friends and the hey-how's-it-going friends. I track my diet progress with one of their extra applications (mydiet for those of you interested, it's free and it rocks). I chat about my favourite TV show Coronation Street in one of the many groups there (Canadian Coronation Street Fans), and I get some great support from a Bipolar Disorder support group there too.

Whatever your definition of friendship, the bottom line is, we all need friends. Whether it's that Tuesday Cappucino, a long chat on the phone, or a quick note on your facebook wall, we all need to have friends, be friends, and keep those communication lines open, whatever they may be.